I Wouldn't Be Here

Where in the world is my dad, he still ain't home and it's like 11:30, he's really starting to scare me, some people ask why I even care, I tell them, "I've changed."

I thought about my cousin the other day after seeing some documentary about suicide, I don't know why I thought of her, but I haven't seen her in like five maybe six years, but we used to be real close like some of my other cousin's but now we like never see each other, none of us do anymore, and then I thought about this guy who I like totally forgot about, we were on vacation in San Antonio and we walked upon him he overdosed himself and was there lying on the sidewalk, he wasn't breathing and of course the paramedic's were trying to bring him back from the dead, they succeeded but one of the paramedic took a hard punch, I used to wonder what happened to him, I hope he finally found himself some help, I don't know why I've been thinking about things like that. I've been so emotional, I can't even watch these M.D. Anderson commercials without thinking of something that has always bothered me,...It's my grandma that lady you see in my, "Flickr," ticker. She lost her battle with cancer two years before I was born, I know it still bothers my mom, I know it's there in her, that pain, but I don't know how to confront it, or how to deal with it.

Tommorrow I getta wear my, "Blue 1970's chick magnet."

I have a secret.

Shot of the Day