I got all pissed off today because I couldn't find something, so I started to clean out the area around my computer and I found this...

...a brochure from Hawaii, through my rage I paused for a minute and thought about the man that my mom knew. He was dying from Diatbetes and he always wanted to go to Hawaii, and the closest he ever got to Hawaii was a fucking brochure and a book.

Well I had to go some party at one of my cousin's house in League City, who I have never have met, and the party was so unexprected to me. He graduated from high school? It was good I guess, I got to see people who I haven't seen in years which was kind of weird, but I beat the storm home which wasn't all that bad at least not here.

So I'm just a little bored and want something to do, and some friends of mine are in Mexico getting wasted now, haha, what a way of getting away, not my way.

Well I took my Geography final Wednesday, didn't really see anyone, so that was my last day. But lets just say that the official last day of school yesterday, Thursday. Time seems to be forever now, most of my friends have like a life of their own, really I think I annoy them, but I but in on their Xanga or MySpace profiles, real wild, something I don't want to get into. I guess I just better get out of their way.
I really want to change schools again, I don't like it there anymore and I dread going to another campus at that school.

School is out, and no I'm not all that happy about it, it's better than being home, but I get to exempt most of my finals so I only have to take one which is Geography. I haven't been all that bright lately, I guess I haven't been that happy with the way things have been going about me. I keep letting things get out of hand I can't stand to watch my friends go down the drains, why don't I just open my mouth and say something, well I guess that's to late now because it's summer. The Strawberry Festival was the weekend my mom like begged me to go, I was like no, so her, my dad, and my little brother went and they left me here for the whole day. I didn't want to go, I knew everybody from school would be there, and I didn't want to deal with them. The explosion at my dad's plant was two months ago, can't even believe it's been that long, if you don't remember 15 people were killed.

Hey, what do ya know, school's almost out, what a good and bad thing. I'd like to get in touch with some old friends and maybe go out somewhere this summer, if that works and they don't have jobs or something. School sucks really don't have any friends. I decided to give up the crap about my weight, who gives a damn.

I talked to someone, someone who I hadn't talked to in a while, it was a surprise when she messeged me because she was always mad at me for something. But she asked for some things more like advice, ya know that stage in your life.

A light haze above my head
A glance from distant friends
Out I am....
...Out from the life I am in...
...Out I am from the distractions and shouts
Out and into my second life, the second me, the dark me.
The breeze against my face could never feel go good
The leaves brush against my body.

Sitting on the bridge
Reflections from the buses
Unknown looks
The breeze can never feel so good
....It ends with a jump.

Spinning On the Circle of Life......

I'm tired of kidding myself around into thinking that something will happen but of course it won't, and in the end I'll be the one who will have to put up with it.

Well my dad finally came home yesterday, he's not working as much as he used to, so good. It's beautiful day so I don't think I'll miss it, and I'll go shoot some shots for later posting, so that's it for now.

 

Well lets just say the whole communion thingy and reception thing didn't go as I wanted it to. Yeah I lost it for a little while, and I tried to hide out and I ran that stupid feeling where anything can get to you where even when someone wants to talk to you, you can break down, all I kept thinking was not in front of my family, not in front of my mom, not in front of my bother, not in front of my cousins, not in front of everyone in the resturant, they have already been through enough, I don't think anybody noticed that much.

Anyway today is Mother's Day, it didn't really go the way I wanted it to either, first I woke up like at 7 after going to bed at 4, then my mom wanted to go over my grandma's for Mother's Day, of course it's Sunday and she went to church with my aunt, well my mom decided to be an ass hole and not call ahead to see if she was there, she wasn't, and she bitched to me about it, like all the times her family has dropped by and couldn't give a damn about anything. It really ticked me off, and so next time I'll remind her, remind her of that damn time.


Don't worry baby you won't have to cry for much longer.

I'm such a dumbass, no wonder Blogger isn't working, I blocked my images.

I have to go to a First Communion tomorrow, it's my brother's Godmother's daughter, yeah that sounds weird, it's on the other side of town so I'll be gone most of the day. Her husband died I think about over a year ago of a heart attack, and ever since then she's pulled two jobs and raised her family. I haven't seen any of them in a while, it'll be a time if you know what I mean, trust me.



I can't find the words for my thought's anymore.

Blogger isn't working, and I'm sick.

Have I ever told how much I hated school? Ugh, it's nothing of bunch of overworked people or more like workaholics, who drive themselves to the ground, it pisses me off by the end of the day of how much pressure these people put me under, but oh well I guess that's what I get when I go to school with a bunch a damn rich obnoxious white people who try to act like they're gangsta or something, please.

The school year is almost over, lost half the friends I had at the beginning of the year, but whatever, I'd really like to get a job and the hell with school for a while, people tell me how hard it is to live, well I'm not one of those people who likes to live in some upscale neighborhood, get me a house and a job, and I'll be happy. I still have this PowerPoint to do for Geography which is due Wednesday and this Algebra crap.