I feel so wasted today, not in a drunk kinda way but when don't get any sleep kinda way, everything seems so far away to today, like if it hasn't these past few years. My mom keeps insiting that I go out with her somewhere this weekend, I'm like no, I just to stay home this weekend, but now she's sick and I have a headache and I think I'm gonna get sick again like earlier this week, which I never wrote about. I think I'll be back later to update if anything else happens, but I'm going to take a rest and go to bed now.

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal ...

A bit odd and socially isolated. You couldn't care less of what others think. And some of your beliefs are a little weird. Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Don't open the door, he's watching.....

I'm so happy........

The Rubber Ducky You are suicide method #1352

Good lord...people who come to you for help are looking for serious answers to some pretty fucked up questions. You are suicide via electricity in the bathtub. Not only do you offer no promises, but when you actually decide to make yourself useful, you blow people away. It's hard to imagine the kind of sick desperation that leads people in your direction. They're probably really old and can't be bothered to muster much energy of their own. At your best, you're a massive radio built in the '70s...channeling the full brunt of household electricity when dropped into water...or accidentally tipped over by a fucking cat. At your worst, you're some newfangled piece of shit from Target. You know...complete with safety triggers and all those other sissy safety gadgets. My advice to you? Invest some time in computers. There's just got to be a way for you to do your job in the 21st century. - - - - - - Yeah, I've got you pretty well figured out by now. You're into my style, so check out my fashion. www.ubervanity.com (Don't worry about losing your place on OkCupid. It will stay open in a separate window)

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 84% on suicidepoints

Link: The Suicide Test written by _Vanity_ on Ok Cupid

I hate when people think life is nothing but politics.
I hate when people think they can use me like a toy.
I hate intolerance.
I hate suffering.
I hate agony.
I love life.
I love the rain.
I love the night.
I love the things that just get you going.
I believe in mercy.
I believe in forgiveness.
I believe in concept.
I believe in you.

The Coaster of Fun

To make a long story short my weekend sucked, I didn't go out to Galveston, but I ended up having to go to my grandma's house, she had this kid over who I can't stand. I mean this fucking kid has like no sense, he runs into walls, falls, you name it, it happens. I was so bored over there. My phone has been ringing off the hook, it's the family of course, of course no one answers it. My mom told me that when grandpa walks or does something that gets you going that his chest starts to hurt, lovely considering he has high blood pressure and high cholesterol, so just get another thing on my mind so I can drag it around with me all day until I beat the shit out of someone, I doubt he'll see a doctor until the end, so that's his damn fault. My dad is still out in Louisiana, don't know when he's coming home.

I'm Freed, For a Little While

Well my mom finally went to the doctor about the spots on her breast and they told her they think it is nothing serious, so good. School was ok, TAKS is tomorrow, doubt I'll pass because I have always squeaked by. I was coming home from school the other day on the freeway and there was some big plume of smoke in the back of us, I thought another plant blew up again, but I looked back and there was a truck on fire, so driver drove off the freeway and almost lost the trailer, pretty crazy.
I'm still having a little sleeping problem probably two or three hours of sleep a day, but it's getting better. I don't really want to deal with anyone, I just want to stay away from them so I just keep my mouth shut most of the time, so much crap.

Oh, and for all you stoners & stoner wannabe’s out there: It’s 4-20!

Mind of Dysfunction

I walk away to escape, the daily shouts and screams of life.
I gaze to the right and I see faces of happiness and joy and jealousy in mine.
I gaze to the left and I see faces of disappointment.
I walk by the brushes of wind from the automotives.
I run around the blare of a horn and a stern dirty look.
Too peace at last and the screams of joy.
Then to peace row home.
Endless torture from the mind.
Obsession's have their tolls.


Dead Rose for a Thought?

Do You Forbid What Your Heart Says?

af·fec·tion (-fkshn)

1. A tender feeling toward another; fondness. Synonyms of love.
2. Feeling or emotion. Often used in the plural: an unbalanced state of affections.
3. A disposition to feel, do, or say; a propensity.
4. Obsolete. Prejudice; partiality.
5. A bodily condition; disease.

Stinky Saturday

Today was ok, I'm a lot better than I was the other day, but I fell asleep at 4 yesterday and woke up a 10, argh. I didn't like that, but I slept. I wanted to go to the barn to go help with some Totally Texan thing or something but I didn't because I thought my dad was going to take me out somewhere, but he left the other day so I was like whatever, I wanted to go and get my mind of things, but it didn't happen, oh well. My grandpa came over, and brought me some breakfast my grandma made, mmmm, lol, so he spent some time over here and then him and my mom went to Deer Park for some reason, so I had an hour to myself, which was good I guess.

I thought about this neighbor kid that used to live near me, I hadn't seen him in years, but I remember he was the closest thing I had to a brother. I know his parents got divorced a couple a years ago and he moved to Clear Lake, I think he's like 21 now, crazy right? I thought about a lot of things and that's what probably has kept me here.



I'm twisted.

This Isn't Fun

I'm still up, I don't know but for the weirdest reason everthing seems to be bothering me, it's pissing me off, I'm just tired and need a break.

re·pent (r-pnt)

1. To feel remorse, contrition, or self-reproach for what one has done or failed to do; be contrite.
2. To make a change for the better as a result of remorse or contrition for one's sins

I Finally Went to Sleep

I fell asleep earlier, which is good, at least I didn't end up like what happened to me a couple months ago, but I've felt like I've been on crack all day. I couldn't even walk earlier, I was a mess but I feel better but energized for some reason.
Anyway.....my dad left earlier for two weeks, he said that last time and he was gone for two months, so because of the explosion last month they moved him out somewhere, I don't where though not until he could go back into the plant.
It's so quit for being this early at night, it's weird all you can hear is the fire department going to some gas leak.

It's 5:30 a.m. & I'm Bored

[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]

What's your name? :: Mike
Birthplace :: Houston
Age :: **
Age you act :: 35
Current location :: Home(houston)
Eye color :: brown
Hair color :: Brown/Black
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :: ????
Zodiac sign? :: who cares
Height? :: 5'6

[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]

Your heritage/nationality :: Hispanic not no frackin Latino
Your hair :: short
Your fears :: heights
Your perfect room :: ummmm....my room
What you practically do in a day :: school, sleep, eat

[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]

Words you overuse :: your mom
Phrases you overuse :: dont know
Your first thought when you wake up :: how to get off the floor
Your greatest accomplishment :: dont know
Something you want to do :: be a paramedic!!!

[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]

Pepsi or Coke :: pepsi
McDonald's or Burger Kings :: how bout Whataburger
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera :: uh...
Chocolate or vanilla :: both!
Adidas or Nike :: Nike
Black or white :: black
Bills or Coins ((Think $)) :: bills
Burgers or hot dogs :: both!
Egypt or France :: France
Rock or rap :: rock

[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]

Smoke :: NO......
Cuss :: sorta
Sing well :: dont no
Sing in the shower :: no
Talk to yourself --a lot-- :: ummmmm....no
Believe in yourself :: i guess so
Like taking these longass surveys? :: i guess so when I'm bored
Play an instrument :: no
Want to go to college? :: maybe
Want to get married? :: maybe
Want to have children? :: maybe
Think you're a health freak? :: no
Get along with your parents :: sorta
Get along with your siblings? :: sorta
Think you're popular :: i guess

[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]

Gone out of state :: no
Drank alchohal :: NO
Smoke :: NO
Get high :: No
Done any drugs :: besides my meds NO
Eaten an entire box of oreos :: Yes
Been on stage :: no
Gone skinny dipping :: no
Been dumped :: no
Dyed your hair :: no
Stolen anything :: dont remember

[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]

Craziest :: lots
Loudest :: lots of those
Most shy :: some
Blondest :: lots
Smartest :: a couple
Kindest :: some
Best personality :: a couple
Most talented :: some
Best singer :: a couple
Most ghetto :: some
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) :: some
Pain in the ass :: a couple
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style)):: lol..a couple
Funniest :: lots
Best person for advice :: a couple
Dependable :: a couple
Trustworthy :: a couple
Druggie :: some
Most likely to end up in jail :: uh..cough cough
Person you've known the longest :: a couple

[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]

Last dream :: dont remeber
Last nightmare :: the other night
Car ride :: a few hours ago
Last time you cried :: dont remember
Last movie seen :: dont know but it was old
Last movie rented :: that i dont remember
Last book read :: dont remember....shame on me
Last word said :: ummm....yeah
Last curse word said :: shit...hehe
Last time you laugh :: at school
Last phone call :: last night
Last CD played :: i dont know some cd my dad had
Last song you listened to :: Freak On A Leash
Last annoyance :: the phone
Last IM :: Mikeh20585 or some thing like that
Last weird encounter :: last week
Last person you hugged :: my grandma
Last person you yelled at :: dont know....lol
Last time you wore a skirt :: ima guy
Last time you've been evil :: ummmm
Sarcastic? :: maybe earlier
Last time you fought with your parents :: ....
Last time you wished upon a star :: since i was a child
Played Truth or Dare :: awhile
Spent quality time alone :: an hour ago.......dang there's more!!

[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]

Are you talking to someone on AIM :: no
Do you feel lonely :: sorta
Ever TP'd someone's house :: no
How about egging someone's house :: no
Do you not like dislike not like me? :: i dont know
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? :: uh....
Yo Momma :: ummm goober?
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? :: yeah
What do you think of George Bush? :: he sucks elect me!!!!
Any secret fetishes? :: lol...no
Do you like to wear chains? O_o :: i dont have any
How many languages do you speak? :: 1
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! :: no
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) :: yes

From Bzoink!

I Told You I Was Going back To The Ground

I've been up all night, and I have to be in school in two hours, haha, of course what else do you think I've been doing but being a dumbass. This sucks.

You Go Back Because of Love, Right?

You go back right?
For love?
For Memories?
For Life?
...Inspiration?
Beauty?
Care?
You take the hits and the falls and you get up...
...and you go back.


It got ugly today, that's all I can say


The story of the picture.............

Carlos Antonio Rios / Houston Chronicle


I got this in my email the other day, it was one of those things that drawed me.

Subject: An Amazing Story -
Al Capone, His Lawyer & History PASSING IT ON

STORY NUMBER ONE

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for
anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in
everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was his lawyer for a good
reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering
kept Big Al out of jail for a long time. To show his appreciation, Capone
paid him very well
Not only was the money big, but also Eddie got special dividends.
For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in
help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that
it filled an entire Chicago City block. Eddie lived the high life of the
Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on
around him.

Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly.
Eddie saw to it that his young son had the best of everything: clothes, cars
and a good education. Nothing was withheld.. Price was no object. And,
despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him
right from wrong.
Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet, with all his
wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he
couldn't pass on a good name and a good example... Easy Eddie wanted to
rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and
tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name and
offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to
testify
against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he
testified.
Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely
Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he
had to offer, at the greatest price he would ever pay.
Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion
and a poem clipped from a magazine..
The poem read:
The clock of life is wound but once And no man has the power To tell just
when the hands will stop At late or early hour.
Now is the only time you own.
Live, love, toil with a will.
Place no faith in time.
For the clock may soon be still.

STORY NUMBER TWO

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander
Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier
Lexington in the South Pacific.

One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne,
he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top
off his fuel tank.
He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his
ship. His flight leader told him to return to the carrier.

Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet. As
he was returning to the mother ship he saw something that turned his blood
cold, a squadron of Japanese aircraft were speeding their way toward the
American fleet.

The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but
defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to
save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger.

There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.

Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of
Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in,
attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out
of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until
all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault.
He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging
as many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly.
Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the
carrier. Upon arrival he reported in and related the event surrounding his
return.

The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed
the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet.
He had in fact destroyed five enemy aircraft.

This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the
Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the
Congressional Medal of Honor.

A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29.
His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and
today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this
great man.

So the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some
thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of
Honor.

It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?


Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.

I have to agree on that.....lol.....why am I all of a sudden obsessed with PETA?

Stop Bashing Bp!!!

Bash P.E.T.A. damn it!! I'm tired of it I don't want to hear it!! It's a damn chemical plant what do you think? People are going to get killed, people will get hurt, and it will be dangerous, but you are still expected to do your job. And I personally think that if you can't handle a job don't do it.

I'm Going To the Ground Again

I got sick off of someone's pot this morning, and no I didn't smoke it, it was on somebody's clothes, it was gross. I tell you today was not a day you wanted to mess with me, I was not in the best mood I would kill if I had to. Then I diced my toe nail in gym, ouch. No more FFA judging team meetings, tear, it kinda sucked but I did it because I was good at it and it was my way away from a bunch a people I don't want to deal with. A bunch of shit has been going around school about someone and someone don't be surprised if I get stuck in it again, I'm sick of that school, they talk about the inner city school's about how bad they are on the news almost everyday, but I personally think school's in the suburbs are a lot worse, because their secrets aren't exposed. Been there done that so I know.


Hmmmm. So, that's their secret name.

I Have Such A Lovely Family...

...You wish, well ok so this started yesterday, both of my aunt's came unexpectedly, my mom had an idea that they would do something like that, so we tried to act like no one was home but my mom stupidly opened the curtain and she saw us. She wanted us to go out and eat with her but my mom had already made something for ourselves, my aunt was like put up everything and come and my mom was like hell fucking no. My aunt got pissed, what's new? So she left with my other aunt to eat and my mom's blood pressure must of gone flying through the roof, talk about one mad woman on edge, I did a whole lotta running. So, they came back about an hour later, they ditzy aunt and the bitchy aunt, of course I feel bad about them but I don't want to talk about it because it's to damn depressing. They stayed here for the longest time and don't forget I still have to go to school, I wasn't happy I really wanted them to leave, me and my dad stayed out outside during the night until they left which was like almost 10:30. They act like they don't have a home they used to be here like every other day, they stopped that but I still had shit for school to do. It's annoying one my aunt's is like 60 and she's already retired and has nothing to do and decides to drive the fucking shit out of me and the other is a nutcase and is constantly calling me!!! But I love them.

Sister of Night

The emptiness of the night sound.
The stars are like the eyes of God.
City lights painted gold.
The aroma of distant love in the air.
Vibes from distant lights.
Steam from the distant money.
The ghosts of high offices.
Fire from the bayou.
Shadows I see..........

...How about we try this...

Night Out

Well Rodger Clemen's got another Cy-Young award, so whatever. The game was awesome, right when you think we were going to loose, we won and it turned out to be a good game.....

......But anyway my dad took me out to eat and I ate 'til I dropped like always, so that was my Saturday night, and I just sat around today, and I don't go to school tomorrow.

.....On the Road Again

I don't want to talk about the banquet, I just didn't like and I left out because I couldn't stand it anymore. School was school, same old shit. I don't have much to talk about, but my dad is going to have the weekend off so he is going to take me to the game later on.

My Ear's Closed Shut, Screaming La La La

The contest was weird, more like a big rip off but whatever, I don't care I just do it so I can get everyone to shut up about me. Tomorrow is the FFA banquet, I don't really want to go but my mom keeps insisting that I do, everyone is getting real tense about everything and I don't like it, I don't like to be under stress. Everyone in my FFA Chapter is flipping back and forth about everything I hope it changes soon. My dad finally is starting to go back to work but not in Texas City, after the fire everything has been different, they released pictures of it on the internet the other day, that was weird and the fire chief who did got fired today. The Selena thing was tonight, touching and emotional.
My aunt called but I didn't answer it, I didn't want to. I still have all this crap for school to do, and I don't want to do it.



Photographs
Tickets for two
Promises that all fell through
Now everything in black and white
The colors faded with the night
The stars we used to wish upon
Have somehow lost their light

Yes!!! the Perfect Pill. 

I Hate Wednesday's

Tomorrow is going to be the judging competition in Conroe, I hope I'll do better than what I did in Houston, I'm tired and beat up. I'm tired of the bullshit from everyone, my family the most I'm just so glad I deal with them because I don't have too!!
Maybe I need more pills, ya think? I haven't even taken the one's I got a few months, I'm really not that stupid to take happy pills that are more like Viagra, I'm not going back to the doctor, I'm not going back to the therabitch, because they aren't any help or they just suck.


I've just had a bad day, but it's gonna get better.

wea·ry (wîr)

Physically or mentally fatigued.

My Day as a Soft Drink Seller

Well today was Kid Fish at the barn, I never knew how good I could talk to kids, but they were so cool. I enjoyed it I guess it was a time my bitchy side didn't get me, I'm not such of a people person but I talked to some of these kids so well. So after that we ate and we fishing for ourselves, that was crazy we started to throw each other in the pond, I was like NO, but I ended up going in anyway, and that water was cold and I got burned bad, I think it was worth it. So later on after everything my dad took me out to the boardwalk I haven't been there for about a year, it was quite boring no one was there so I decided to take some pictures like I always do.

I'm possessed.............by the night.

It's that Time of week

I guess everything is alright, my day went pretty smooth, besides it's April Fool's day and of course my IPC teachers had to be on each other's back, locking them out of the class, rearranging their stuff, but it was fun. So, tomorrow is Kid Fish our program we are sponsoring for FFA, gotta be there early, I guess, but it's Friday and school's over.

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. "
- Mother Teresa